We will never be good enough in your eyes, huh? You will always see us as complete failures and yet, we're still trying so hard to prove otherwise. And you will take advantage of any chance you have to put us down. Most disgusting thing of all, you judge us by assuming things. You don't even know the full story.

-

I don't know why we even try. If you see us as such failures, without even the smallest thing for you to feel proud of, then why do we even bother? Why get upset when you say horrid things about us? And why try so hard to get you to think just a wee bit better of us?

Maybe we shouldn't bother. We should just rot away and become the worst nightmare we can come up with. And just show you how much of a failure we can really be. Then maybe you'll finally realise that we weren't so bad after all. And maybe you might miss our 'old' selves, the ones who weren't even close to being a failure to begin with.

Look what I got? Presents!

Nice huh?
I'm so bringing the mini fan around to save me from the heat!

And this is my favourite!
So me...
♥

~

Cactus Update!

My cactus is dying, again. The only surviving red one has gone all mushy and gooey at the stem. So I embarked on a mission to try to save it! This is the end result...

The one on the left, is the stem. Or what's left of it anyway. I googled it and apparently, I'm suppose to get rid of the mushy parts, dry out the remainder of it, and then plant it again. And I'm trying to replant the red top because it's still firm and healthy looking.

It was generally an unpleasant process. The rotting stem smelt all strange. Urgh! Like how flowers smell when it's been left in a vase of water for too long and everything starts to disintegrate. My younger sister freaked out and made gagging noises while I was dealing with it. That didn't help at all! I went from being fine to actually feeling sick! Haha!

I'm praying it'll work! At least the red top... Survive! Please SURVIVE! *crosses fingers*

I woke up really annoyed this morning because I had a terrible night of sleep. The worse thing is, it's because of inconsiderate and brainles people in my neighbourhood. Seems like the world can never be rid of people like that.

It's soccer season: Euro 2008
Last night's match: Italy Vs Romania
Time of match: About 12 midnight

So, my sisters and I were preparing to go to sleep when suddenly, we heard rowdy cheers and banging on our ceiling. Upstairs neighbour. Again... The last time there was that much noise was when they decided to have a party, make lots of noise, play hip-hop songs real loud, smoke at the balcony and leave cigarette ashes all over my dad's plants. And there was the incident with the peanuts... Ohh my goodness! The peanuts! That was downright brainless... -_-

Anyway, we were wondering what was going on and thought that they were having yet another one of their parties. My younger sister suggested that they may be watching soccer. So, we turned on the TV, watched the match for the next half hour or so and decided that they were indeed watching the match.

I figured they received some sort of warning because after two instances of loud cheering and floor banging (I really don't understand the floor banging), they stopped. We had peace. So, we decided to go sleep...

Then, when I've just fallen asleep, I woke up again to people shouting and cheering and making a ton of noise! At what felt like 1+ am! I was pissed off because they were being such asses! And it didn't help that I was dead tired from the night before and had a horrific headache. So all I wanted to do, was sleep. To top everything off, I had trouble sleeping after that.

I understand that it's soccer season and I do not want to be a party-pooper. But goodness sake, uncles and aunties (yes, I swear I heard some chick cheering as well)! It's not 12 in the afternoon, where the sun is up and so is everyone else. It's fucking 12 midnight! Past some people's bedtime! Plus, you're not living in a town, surrounded by fellow, die-hard soccer fans. If you want to cheer so loud and make so much noise, go to a fucking pub. You can shout all you want there.

The best part of it all, I found out the next morning that the match was a draw. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! ALL THAT CHEERING OVER A DRAW?! AND THERE I WAS THINKING THAT SOMEBODY ACTUALLY WON!! Then, I found out that they probably cheered so much because they bet on the match or something and ended up winning something. If that's really so, then... ALL YOU STUPID, FUCKING, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING GAMBLERS! GREEDY, NOTHING-ELSE-BETTER-TO-DO, TOO-MUCH-MONEY-TO-SPEND ASS CRACKS!! BLOODY HELL! IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN'T STAND, IT'S HAVING MY SLEEP DISRUPTED BY STUPID, INCONSIDERATE FUCKS WHO HAVE NO BLOODY BRAINS!

Sorry about the coarse language. But hello! If I can stay up with my sister, watch a match at 12 midnight and still retain our sense of consideration, volume control and brains to think! So can you. There's no excuse. There are other people around, adults who might still need to work the next morning. And what about young kids, like my neighbour?! All of you! Grown adults! So old already still so stupid! All the education you received, all the food you've consumed, all the space you're taking taking up. Have all gone to waste! Selfish bastards...

To all the guys who are soccer fans, please do realise that it's late at night when you're watching the matches. I have nothing against that. I'm going to watch a few matches myself! But please hor, be considerate can? Don't lose control, suddenly become stupid and piss people off...

My green cactus is officially dead. Only the red one is left now. I buried the green one underneath the red one though hoping that the red one will be given extra nutrients. I hope it survives! It looks extremely lonely though...

In loving memory...
14 Feb '08 - 10 Jun '08

~

Look what I found in my house yesterday!

Sorry! It's a bad picture. It was on the ceiling, so I couldn't really get close to it. Plus, I couldn't afford to use flash. But anyway, it's a green moth with eyes as camouflage. Cool huh?

~

Random picture of a white mouse and a tiger watching the rain...

Bah! I can be so pointless and random sometimes... Haha!

You know, it was just a question, which you could have answered. You were not expected to give any kind of complicated answer. It was simple, either a yes or a no. Such a simple question, and yet, you chose to ignore me. You looked at me for a second and looked away without saying a word. You acted like I asked you the most absurd question you have ever heard. You definitely heard my question, so there was no excuse.

I'm turning 23 and I'm an adult already. So treat me like one, will you?

We were out one day and we saw this guy playing the piano at a public performance. You were so quick to say that he plays well. I thought otherwise about the performance. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't particularly fantastic or extraodinary. The only thing I admire about the guy on stage is that he had the courage to get himself up there and play. I could never have done that.

You really don't think very highly of us, do you? I don't need you to shower us with positive comments all the time, but what the heck? You say nothing about us and yet you are able to say good things about other people?! What do you know about them that you think deserves your praises? For all you know, the guy on stage may be rude and completely full of himself.

We try so hard to please you. Or at least try to be as good a person as we can. We don't go out, hang out with hooligans till the wee hours of the night and smoke our lives away. We don't scold you, we respect you and are grateful for the things that we have. We may not always do the right things and make the right decisions, but does that mean we do not deserve at least some of your kind comments?

There are so many things about you that I admire. You are self-less and put us first before yourself. You are strong and there are some things that you have to deal with everyday that I wouldn't even be able to handle. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for.

Yet, there are so many other things that I don't like, and it's probably not in my place to say. But I really don't want to be like you. And apparently, there are so many things about me that resemble you, and that scares me.

I tell people that I will never be like you any of you in future and I was so sure about it because I believed that when I know better, I do better. But sometimes when I think about it, I don't think I can run away from it, which is why I don't want to have kids in future. I don't want to treat them the way you do sometimes...

-

And it's no wonder why I can be so messed up... But if I told you anything, I know that it will just break your heart...

My elder sister found something cool on Youtube today. It's Wade Robson, and Travis Wall from So You Think You Can Dance, Season 2. Although, I have some trouble spotting Travis. Anyway, I think this choreography is by Wade Robson, featured on Dancing With The Stars.

~

I'm currently quite interested in The Beatles. All thanks to my younger sister, who one day decided to let me listen to this song of their's called Yellow Submarine. It's an amusing song!

I like that we're listening to stuff from the past instead of all the songs of the now (as in radio and MTV stuff). Because frankly, I'm really not impressed with those...

I'm dim today

Like Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

~

I just realised that I might be putting myself in depression, which is just absolutely disgusting. I'm putting myself at home! Where I'm bored, I lose my mind, I don't think, I don't do anything and when I actually get my ass up to do anything, I get frustrated and upset.

Any chance I have to go out, I find a million and one excuses not to go. But then again, that's just on one occasion I can think of actually. But it's bad enough right?

Bleh bleh! I don't know! I'm fine one moment, then I'm not. I'm defending myself one moment, then I'm not. I want to go out, and I don't. I want to do something, and I don't. On certain occasions, I do but I end up pissed off.

Urgh! I'm just in a mess...

It's day No. 5

And I honestly think I'm going insane

♥

I've been shopping quite a bit lately, since exams ended. And it's a great time to shop actually, on weekdays especially. And the huge bonus now? The Great Singapore Sale...

But, it seems almost like a load of rubbish, if you ask me. The Great Singapore Sale... I thought it meant that everything is on sale! But no... It seems like only the older items are on sale. Then, doesn't that mean it should be renamed as The Great Singapore Stock-clearance? Still fits the abbreviation, GSS! HEH!

So far, I've seen so many things I like! Skirts, dresses, tops... But they're very expensive! And there's no discount! Too bad for me then, I guess... =(

-

It's been a very 'off' holiday for me, an emotional rollercoaster. Up and down, and up and down, and etc. etc. Holidays are supposed to be a time to relax, destress and catch up on stuff that I haven't been able to do because of school work and exams.

I've been slacking and doing nothing. I've been cooped up at home, watching tv. I don't even feel like going out sometimes! I'm becoming a hermit crab! So lethargic, so lazy, so annoyed.

Piano is not working for me. I've lost the motivation, inspiration and determination. My own practice sessions are rubbish. Piano lessons are crushing my confidence. I basically feel like I suck, for somebody who's been taking lessons for a year and a half -_-

I'm not sure if all the staying at home is messing up my emotional stability. But I just haven't been feeling very good lately. I feel very depressed and defeated... And the worse thing is, I have no idea what to do to make myself feel better.

I hate it when I'm in one of these moods. It sucks more to feel horrible about myself than to have something bad actually happen...

-

The Ham and Spinach Quiche from Swissbake is excellent! Lovely crust, full of flavour and love the spinach. I'm not so much a spinach person, but this one is very nice! I want to eat somemore...

I should learn how to make it!

Annoyed and Bored Out of My Mind

Just when I thought I might have a rather fruitful day today, I was so wrong.

I spent the first half of my doing mundane things. Mundane, but at least it's something other than melting into the sofa, watching tv and losing even more brain cells. Anyway, I managed to pack the stuff from the last semester Now my dining area has less clutter and me chair is free from miscellaneous stuff.

Here's the annoying part... I was inspired to play Sims after a very, very long time of not touching it at all. I got all excited thinking I was going to be able to create Sims, build houses, expand my 'Horror House' and mess my Sims up. But no...

I am so upset! I'm back to being bored again! And that's why I'm posting on my blog every other day now! Where's my Sims Nightlife...? =(

-

Lack of sleep / strange sleeping habits

+

Really short holiday
(therefore, can't find a job)

+

Too much slacking
(And I mean slacking & not doing ANYTHING)

=

Recipe for disaster
(I'm losing my mind and tons of brain cells)

It's fun to share half a watermelon between 2 people!
Enough for lunch! And it's nice!

~

My cactus is dying... :(

~

A day out on an adventure! :)