Monday, June 27, 2005
im DAMN scared rite now.. iw as scared like a half hr ago! and im still scared! something really strange happened just now..
so i was in my sister's room chilling.. listening to some cds and just chilling.. i had e room door shut rite.. so as i was happily chilling and waiting for time to pass so i can do pilates,i happened to look at my tv! dun ask me why! it wasnt on btw.. and thru e tv,there was e reflection of e window.. AND i saw things flying arnd outside! so i tot it was some amazing animal phenomenon.. it was alrite! just tt instead of a whole bunch of birds or butterflies, it was BEES.. yes bees!! SWARMING arnd outside! i fuckin freaked! ran out e room to go check e other rooms! they were EVERYWHERE!! outside every room.. living room,dining room! everywhere except e kitchen! just imagine my house as e hive and bees ALL ARND it.
to make things worst,my sister's room window was open!! not wide open! THANKFULLY! when i ran out fo e room,i shut e door coz i figured tt even if they did come in,at least they will be trapped in e rooma nd not swarming arnd my entire house!! my maid had to point e fan their direction so tt hopefully,they wont be able to fly in!! so they were just swarming!! i cant think of any other way to discribe it! hundreds and thousands of them!! if someone told me there were a million of them,i would believe it! they were BIG! not e ones tt were found dead in sch recently! it was e size of those big black ants tt have wings! those tt fly into ur house when e weather is cool.. otherwise saying.. they were e size of ur thumb!! AND they looked evil! they did! to me at least! they looked like evil things! and when they swarmed,they really did! like there was some chaos in e bee world and they were all agitated and angry and flying arnd really fast! when i looked out of e window,all i saw were these black things flying arnd!! they seemed fierce somehow!!
i honestly have NEVER seen anything like tt before! there were more bees than ALL e bugs tt have flown into my house combined!! jeeez!! i've got e chills now!! everywhere! every part of my body! chills up and down and up and down my spine! EVERY WHERE!! scared shitless!
so all e windows in my house are closed! e doors r closed! main wooden door,sliding door! everything is shut!
they can suddenly and they left in like 5mins! my daddy says tt they're moving! wat a way to move yeah?! so im alone in my house now and im really really scared!
im really fuckin scared! cant describe it kind of scared! e weird thing is,my neighbours didnt get it.. i dunno if others stayin at e same unit but different level experienced it.. but it sure felt like e bees were targetting my house.. weird aint it?! please DO NOT come back.. find urselves a nice spot and settle down!!
so i was in my sister's room chilling.. listening to some cds and just chilling.. i had e room door shut rite.. so as i was happily chilling and waiting for time to pass so i can do pilates,i happened to look at my tv! dun ask me why! it wasnt on btw.. and thru e tv,there was e reflection of e window.. AND i saw things flying arnd outside! so i tot it was some amazing animal phenomenon.. it was alrite! just tt instead of a whole bunch of birds or butterflies, it was BEES.. yes bees!! SWARMING arnd outside! i fuckin freaked! ran out e room to go check e other rooms! they were EVERYWHERE!! outside every room.. living room,dining room! everywhere except e kitchen! just imagine my house as e hive and bees ALL ARND it.
to make things worst,my sister's room window was open!! not wide open! THANKFULLY! when i ran out fo e room,i shut e door coz i figured tt even if they did come in,at least they will be trapped in e rooma nd not swarming arnd my entire house!! my maid had to point e fan their direction so tt hopefully,they wont be able to fly in!! so they were just swarming!! i cant think of any other way to discribe it! hundreds and thousands of them!! if someone told me there were a million of them,i would believe it! they were BIG! not e ones tt were found dead in sch recently! it was e size of those big black ants tt have wings! those tt fly into ur house when e weather is cool.. otherwise saying.. they were e size of ur thumb!! AND they looked evil! they did! to me at least! they looked like evil things! and when they swarmed,they really did! like there was some chaos in e bee world and they were all agitated and angry and flying arnd really fast! when i looked out of e window,all i saw were these black things flying arnd!! they seemed fierce somehow!!
i honestly have NEVER seen anything like tt before! there were more bees than ALL e bugs tt have flown into my house combined!! jeeez!! i've got e chills now!! everywhere! every part of my body! chills up and down and up and down my spine! EVERY WHERE!! scared shitless!
so all e windows in my house are closed! e doors r closed! main wooden door,sliding door! everything is shut!
they can suddenly and they left in like 5mins! my daddy says tt they're moving! wat a way to move yeah?! so im alone in my house now and im really really scared!
im really fuckin scared! cant describe it kind of scared! e weird thing is,my neighbours didnt get it.. i dunno if others stayin at e same unit but different level experienced it.. but it sure felt like e bees were targetting my house.. weird aint it?! please DO NOT come back.. find urselves a nice spot and settle down!!
12:35 PM
Friday, June 24, 2005
once again,im left with e same qn i had long long time ago.. wat am i to do with my pathetic life? i got a letter today.. probably e most impt letter of my life.. whether i get into NIE or not and whether i can be on my way to fulfilling my dream.. all lies in one letter.. 3 absolute strangers decided whether i shld be allowed to get into NIE.. and e ans is NO.. again..
why? wat did i do wrong? did i say something wrong? did i not give and/or show wat was required? why? why didnt i get it? i noe i deserve it more than half e ppl who r there rite now! i noe i deserve it more than half e ppl who got thru e bloody interview and r on their way there! why? i dun understand why! if its because i NEVER relief taught,then its all BULLSHIT.. i dun need THAT to teach! DAMN IT!! i tutored! or was tutoring! not getting it e second time is worse than e first..
wat am i gonna do now?! there's nothing worse then feeling so lost.. and not knowing wat to do next.. i cant afford to sit home and do nothing again.. and wait for e next chance.. i cant live off my parents.. my bank account is shrinking.. i cant go on living my life like tt.. with nothing to do.. i noe tt alot of ppl will tell me to go find something else to do.. BUT if it was so easy and so simple,i wouldnt be where i am today..
i have quite a few ideas on my mind rite now.. but im really confused.. and really bitter.. i've wanted to teach since as long as i can remember.. so now tt e one path i want to take is like blocked,i dunno wat to do next! event planner? im not sure if im up for tt.. hospitality? im not sure if im up for tt either.. modelling? bleh.. being a part of a famous band? dun even think abt it.. so wat am i left with? temp jobs.. office jobs? kill me.. so wat other temp jobs r there? subway again? no way.. (i still love it though..) even if i did get myself a temp job.. it still doesnt help me.. i still dunno wat i wanna do as a career.. fashion design? $$.. try teaching again? 1) i've been havin doubts.. 2) im not sure if i can take another rejection..
i dun wanna do something tt'll make me depressed.. whether it is temporary or not.. i refuse to do tt to myself.. i refuse to let myself get up in e morning,drag myself out of bed and to work.. and come back all -_- coz i hate my job..
so how? *sigh*
why? wat did i do wrong? did i say something wrong? did i not give and/or show wat was required? why? why didnt i get it? i noe i deserve it more than half e ppl who r there rite now! i noe i deserve it more than half e ppl who got thru e bloody interview and r on their way there! why? i dun understand why! if its because i NEVER relief taught,then its all BULLSHIT.. i dun need THAT to teach! DAMN IT!! i tutored! or was tutoring! not getting it e second time is worse than e first..
wat am i gonna do now?! there's nothing worse then feeling so lost.. and not knowing wat to do next.. i cant afford to sit home and do nothing again.. and wait for e next chance.. i cant live off my parents.. my bank account is shrinking.. i cant go on living my life like tt.. with nothing to do.. i noe tt alot of ppl will tell me to go find something else to do.. BUT if it was so easy and so simple,i wouldnt be where i am today..
i have quite a few ideas on my mind rite now.. but im really confused.. and really bitter.. i've wanted to teach since as long as i can remember.. so now tt e one path i want to take is like blocked,i dunno wat to do next! event planner? im not sure if im up for tt.. hospitality? im not sure if im up for tt either.. modelling? bleh.. being a part of a famous band? dun even think abt it.. so wat am i left with? temp jobs.. office jobs? kill me.. so wat other temp jobs r there? subway again? no way.. (i still love it though..) even if i did get myself a temp job.. it still doesnt help me.. i still dunno wat i wanna do as a career.. fashion design? $$.. try teaching again? 1) i've been havin doubts.. 2) im not sure if i can take another rejection..
i dun wanna do something tt'll make me depressed.. whether it is temporary or not.. i refuse to do tt to myself.. i refuse to let myself get up in e morning,drag myself out of bed and to work.. and come back all -_- coz i hate my job..
so how? *sigh*
8:05 PM
Thursday, June 23, 2005
im sooooo happy for HUI!! yes yes!!! coz me and jess bought her pretty shoes!! yes yes!! pretty shoes!! Dotty pumps!! i wish i had e pic! but i cant find it!!! i shall take a pic of her in it! then i'll post it! AND i shall take a pic of jess in her gorgeous new shades too!! its a gift from hui too!! so anyway,its a pair of white pumps with lil black poka dots!! (is tt how u spell it?! poka dots? or is it polka dots?) AH! watever!! u get wat i mean!
yes!! wish i had a video of her reaction!! very nice!! she totally didnt expect it!! so she was utterly surprise!! AND she was abit sad yesterday too!! so it was a perrrrfect gift to cheer her up!! rite hui!??!?! hehehe!! she LOVED it!! and of course she looks absolutely gorgeous in it!! hehehe!! she had to tear thru 3 layers of newspaper to get to it! my doing!! and after tt!! she had to open individual white packets to get to e shoe!! coz when we bought e shoes,it had one white bag for each side of e shoe! and i scotch taped it shut!! hehehe! oooops!! but it was fun!!!
we can now go out together!! and hui will wear her shoes,i'll wear mine and jess will wear her shades!! wooohoooo!! i hope i can walk in mine though!! hehehe!! ;)
yes!! wish i had a video of her reaction!! very nice!! she totally didnt expect it!! so she was utterly surprise!! AND she was abit sad yesterday too!! so it was a perrrrfect gift to cheer her up!! rite hui!??!?! hehehe!! she LOVED it!! and of course she looks absolutely gorgeous in it!! hehehe!! she had to tear thru 3 layers of newspaper to get to it! my doing!! and after tt!! she had to open individual white packets to get to e shoe!! coz when we bought e shoes,it had one white bag for each side of e shoe! and i scotch taped it shut!! hehehe! oooops!! but it was fun!!!
we can now go out together!! and hui will wear her shoes,i'll wear mine and jess will wear her shades!! wooohoooo!! i hope i can walk in mine though!! hehehe!! ;)
8:36 PM
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Arent they just PeeRrrTy?!?! :)
hi there!! see those shoes there?! they're GORGEOUS rite?! well,my goodie goodie fren,HUI,bought them for me!! a little insane! coz e cost of e shoes is like very up there!! told her not to get them for me,but she still went and bought them!! i was speechless!! didnt noe wat to say! and i didnt noe how to accept it! but she made me take it of course! and it wouldnt be very nice if i didnt accept it either!! so here it is! sitting prettily in a pretty bag in my house! WOW!! THANX HUI!! i could say tt a million times!! ;)
u're rite hui! its not abt e money or anything! but its a matter of whether u love it or not!! and i love it!! and u noe tt i love it!! its really impt to get/have things tt u love!! coz everyone deserves it!! hui!! get something really nice for urself!! U DESERVE IT!! yes u do!!!!!! thanx again!! :)
and u noe wat i realised!!! i cant wear it until i get a car!! coz its really bad for e shoes!! and for me!! if i wore them and tried to walk on uneven surfaces!!! hehehe!! all e more reason to pass my driving test!!!
ohh yes!! and i went window shopping with hui,jessica and glen!! wow!! tried sooooo many pretty things!!! dresses and tops and skirts!! didnt buy any though!! coz i didnt have $$$!! well,its ok!! i still had fun tryin on really nice things and not buying them!! YAY!!
im a happy person today!! got a really gorgeous gift from hui! and a yummy lunch from jessica!! its been awhile since anyone did anything soooooo utterly nice and sweet for me!! i mean not coz it was an expensive gift or anything! its just coz i loved it so much and someone actually thought tt i deserved something beautiful!! AND!! u girls were so willing to pay for it!! shoes and food!! i feel soooooo loved!!! thanx girls!! for e wonderful day!!!!! and making me feel soooooo undescribably goooooooD!!! i cant even put it down in words!! im like speechless!! STILL!!
*i shld do something really nice for someone/some ppl toooo!!! ;)
10:52 PM
Thursday, June 16, 2005
i was out with hui yesterday to shop for some stuff yeah?! so we happened to be talking abt how wat would happen if Beyonce was my mum and Jay-Z was my dad!! HAH! wat happened was,we brainstormed all e funny things tt we could get (with my 'dad's credit card) and e things we could do with lots of money! hehehe!! so one of e things tt came up was: ohh my gosh!! Jay-Z worked with Linkin Park,who in turn had a tour or concert or something with Hoobastank!! CONNECTIONS!!! its like i could meet hoobastank!!! HAHAHA!! so hui started saying tt i could like collaborate with Hoobastank after meeting them or something and we'll be called : CynthiaStank!! as in like Cyn used to smell but now i dun! HAH! or like HoobaCyn!! HAHAHAHAHA!! all e funny things we came up with!!
and have i mentioned tt im totally in Love with DAN?!?!? Dan Estrin!!! e guitarist!!! OHH MY GOSH!! i would soooo passs out and die and not wake up if one fine day,i was at e Hoobastank concert and Dan like winked and pointed at me or something!! rite hui!!! this tot was put in my head by hui!! rite hui!! hahahha!! i think if i ever get to MEET Hoobastank,i'll have to take like GAZILLION photos!!
~*~
on to something serious and less cheery.. driving.. im soooooooooo frustrated!! i checked e account transaction just now,and it said tt i spent fucking $2,200 plus on all e driving lessons!! AND tts not not all!! i'll be spending even more coz i need to book more revision lessons!
ok.. i cant stop saying this : i dun have enough money to book all e fucking lessons!!! and why is it tt i have to wait at least 2 1/2 months plus for e next test?!?! which means : i have to book more revision lessons!!! im a damn good driver lor!! Fuck Luck!!! driving test is all abt luck man!! if u just happen to be unlucky and meet all e inconsiderate ppl who cross a road with their back facing e fuckin traffic!!
AND here's another thing i cant stop saying : I USED E FUCKIN ENGINE BRAKE!!!!!!! I DUN DRIVE AN AUTO CAR!!! I DRIVE A MANUAL CAR!!! damnit!!!! there's ENGINE BRAKE!!!!! jeeez!!! and e STUPID tester said i didnt brake!! SCREW U!!!!
im just feeling very bu fu qi!!! like i gotta spend so much more of my parents money and it wasnt my fault!! AAAARRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! DAMN TT SCH AND ALL E TESTERS!!!!!!!!!! AND DAMN ALL WHO CAUSED MY TO NOT GET MY LICENSE!!!! I CURSE U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and have i mentioned tt im totally in Love with DAN?!?!? Dan Estrin!!! e guitarist!!! OHH MY GOSH!! i would soooo passs out and die and not wake up if one fine day,i was at e Hoobastank concert and Dan like winked and pointed at me or something!! rite hui!!! this tot was put in my head by hui!! rite hui!! hahahha!! i think if i ever get to MEET Hoobastank,i'll have to take like GAZILLION photos!!
on to something serious and less cheery.. driving.. im soooooooooo frustrated!! i checked e account transaction just now,and it said tt i spent fucking $2,200 plus on all e driving lessons!! AND tts not not all!! i'll be spending even more coz i need to book more revision lessons!
ok.. i cant stop saying this : i dun have enough money to book all e fucking lessons!!! and why is it tt i have to wait at least 2 1/2 months plus for e next test?!?! which means : i have to book more revision lessons!!! im a damn good driver lor!! Fuck Luck!!! driving test is all abt luck man!! if u just happen to be unlucky and meet all e inconsiderate ppl who cross a road with their back facing e fuckin traffic!!
AND here's another thing i cant stop saying : I USED E FUCKIN ENGINE BRAKE!!!!!!! I DUN DRIVE AN AUTO CAR!!! I DRIVE A MANUAL CAR!!! damnit!!!! there's ENGINE BRAKE!!!!! jeeez!!! and e STUPID tester said i didnt brake!! SCREW U!!!!
im just feeling very bu fu qi!!! like i gotta spend so much more of my parents money and it wasnt my fault!! AAAARRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! DAMN TT SCH AND ALL E TESTERS!!!!!!!!!! AND DAMN ALL WHO CAUSED MY TO NOT GET MY LICENSE!!!! I CURSE U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1:00 PM
Friday, June 10, 2005
being a big sister is sooo hard.. constantly having to look out for ur little sis is tiring and extremely hard.. i almost noe wat it feels like to be a mum.. how worrying it is.. how stressful it is.. e headache it causes.. i ALMOST feel like im a mum..
of course i love my sister! both of them! and i understand tt they're bound to give me a headache! like i do too!!! but at this point in time,im more worried abt my younger sis than anything else.. at her age,she's so easily influenced.. i dun wan her to go e wrong way! and its not like she has e best of frens! believe me! tts a long story which i shall not start now!
here's e deal.. she's out alot.. netball and all.. BUT! she likes to run arnd after tt! meaning.. anywhere else but back home! and i dun blame her for tt! i dun! she's wat?! 13?! she likes to hang out with frens!! who doesnt?! i still do!! BUT!! she doesnt call!! she doesnt call anyone!! not my mum! not back home!! not even me!! or my elder sis for tt matter!! she just runs!! like today,she told me she went to her sch library after netball! so i asked her : why didnt u call home?! and she said : library can call meh?! and im like!! -_-!! in my mind,i was thinking : celine,u r very smart! but then,u're a very terrible liar!! tts e most horrid excuse ever ever!! and then! she can complain later tt she hasnt had lunch yet and she's hungry!! so im like if u're hungry,u shld've come home!! then!! i gotta watch her eat wat i think i THE MOST unhealthy food on earth!! C U P N O O D L E S! MAN!!! i'd rather i cook for her than she go running to e supermarket and getting herself cupnoodles!! bread is way better than cup noodles!! MAN! AND!! plus she's been workin out alot coz of her cca!! and she needs all e proteins and carbohydrates and fibres and etc etc she can get!!
i just dun understand why she doesnt call! she says she doesnt call my mum is coz my mum will scold her! well,it beats getting scolded for not calling!! she's gonna get grounded for not calling and having no sense of responsibility!! she never gonna hear e end of it!! me and my elder sis has tried soooo many times! talking to her... scolding her!! it all doesnt work!! and honestly,we're getting really sick of having to tell her over and over again!! all we're trying to do is teach her some form of responsibilty! and saving her from getting scolded by my mum!! she just doesnt listen!!
its a whole peer pressure thing!! damn peer pressure!! pls let her grow out of it sooon!!! really sooon!!!!
of course i love my sister! both of them! and i understand tt they're bound to give me a headache! like i do too!!! but at this point in time,im more worried abt my younger sis than anything else.. at her age,she's so easily influenced.. i dun wan her to go e wrong way! and its not like she has e best of frens! believe me! tts a long story which i shall not start now!
here's e deal.. she's out alot.. netball and all.. BUT! she likes to run arnd after tt! meaning.. anywhere else but back home! and i dun blame her for tt! i dun! she's wat?! 13?! she likes to hang out with frens!! who doesnt?! i still do!! BUT!! she doesnt call!! she doesnt call anyone!! not my mum! not back home!! not even me!! or my elder sis for tt matter!! she just runs!! like today,she told me she went to her sch library after netball! so i asked her : why didnt u call home?! and she said : library can call meh?! and im like!! -_-!! in my mind,i was thinking : celine,u r very smart! but then,u're a very terrible liar!! tts e most horrid excuse ever ever!! and then! she can complain later tt she hasnt had lunch yet and she's hungry!! so im like if u're hungry,u shld've come home!! then!! i gotta watch her eat wat i think i THE MOST unhealthy food on earth!! C U P N O O D L E S! MAN!!! i'd rather i cook for her than she go running to e supermarket and getting herself cupnoodles!! bread is way better than cup noodles!! MAN! AND!! plus she's been workin out alot coz of her cca!! and she needs all e proteins and carbohydrates and fibres and etc etc she can get!!
i just dun understand why she doesnt call! she says she doesnt call my mum is coz my mum will scold her! well,it beats getting scolded for not calling!! she's gonna get grounded for not calling and having no sense of responsibility!! she never gonna hear e end of it!! me and my elder sis has tried soooo many times! talking to her... scolding her!! it all doesnt work!! and honestly,we're getting really sick of having to tell her over and over again!! all we're trying to do is teach her some form of responsibilty! and saving her from getting scolded by my mum!! she just doesnt listen!!
its a whole peer pressure thing!! damn peer pressure!! pls let her grow out of it sooon!!! really sooon!!!!
3:12 PM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Pic of me before e test! im panicking! as u can see! e blue drops r wat i call,'panick sweat'! HEH!
misery.... exactly... misery... -_- (this expression is exactly wat's on my face rite now)
i failed my driving test... YES!! i did!! and i waited 5 days to post it! ohh well!! i was disppointed,pissed and depressed... no words can discribe how much i wanted it! MAN!! anyways! i have never felt as scared and nervous as i did! goodness! my test was in e afternoon and i started panicking at approximately 11am in e morning.. yes 11AM!!! test time? 2.45PM!! i couldnt eat lunch coz i was soooooooooooo scared! i told my sis tt i felt like e entire world's population of butterflies were in my stomach!! AND i kindly pointed to her : tts why u dun see any of them flying arnd!! coz they're ALL in my tummy!!!
it was very crappy.. i am still feeling crappy.. it was frustrating!! i got angry!!! and i failed coz of others.. not coz i cant drive properly or handle e car properly.. in e circuit,some student was comin out of e parrellel parking lot.. i was goin str.. she didnt check safety.. instructor,sleeping.. my tester,had to horn for me.. therefore,gone case... i DO NOT believe it.. there they all r.. saying tt they always watch out for test cars.. and when u see a test car,u have to be EXTRA careful.. and e instructor himself noes all e test time and all tt.. he didnt even watch out.. JEEEZ!!! and i had to be all blur and nervous tt day..
out on e road.. an idiot driver turning rite didnt give way to me!! i was goin str btw! so i have e rite of way!! but noooooo!!! never give way!! tester said: never slow down.. huh.. must brake.. then! further down e same road,some woman crossed e road with her back facing e traffic.. AND then e tester say: why never slow down? must brake! im like DUDE!! im driving MANUAL!! not auto!!! got ENGINE BRAKE!!! i used e ENGINE BRAKE!!!!! its like he wants me to step on e bloody brake then he happy!! WAH LAO!! so there's my driving story.. kena failed mainly coz of other ppl..
im damn angry with e tester coz he asked me before e test if it was my first time taking.. and i said yeah.. so he's EXTREMELY strict!! i dun understand why! DAMN IT!! i can say tt im a good driver.. im a GOOD driver!!! im CONSIDERATE damn it!! and wat?! he thinks i have soooo much money to spend on more STUPID tests and lessons?!?!?! e ans is NO!! damn it!! NO!!!!! i DO NOT have much money to spend on all tt nonsense!! i DO NOT earn much money!!! actually,im NOT earning any money at all!!! and there u are!!! sucking money out of me!!!!!!! i feel bad enought having to have my parents pay for everything!! now more?!?!??!?! JEEEEZZZ!!! my bank account is running out of cash!! i DO NOT have a freaking job!!! i cant pay for more lessons and more tests!!!!! he's a bloody idiot!!!!!
my parents r payng for e car when me and my sis get our licence! so i wan tt to happen really soon!! so tt i can pay for e petrol and maintenence and stuff! and maybe when i actually get into NIE,i can use e allowance i get every month to help my parents pay off e car... GREAT!! now they have to pay more money coz i failed... GREAT!! i had to be soooo blur yeah?! BLEH!! why wasnt i more alert?! DAMN!! ohh well....
ohh and btw,it sucks being a girl.. many feminine problems to deal with.. i had TERRIBLE cramps to deal with today... like perioding itself is not enough.. took panadol lor!!! I TOOK PANADOL! i dun!!! EVER take panadol!! i HATE panadol!! but yeah! i had e cramps today.. really bad ones.. my legs were all wobbly and strengthless.. i couldnt walk arnd properly.. getting myself to stand in e bathroom to bathe was hard!! tts how bad it was! and btw,e panadol didnt work!! ohh and did i mention tt i wasnt feeling well? dunno wat i've got! feels like a flu but then again,it doesnt.. had headache e whole of yesterday and today.. plus e cramps.. e whole pms-ing thing.. i REALLY felt like i was gonna die.. seriously!! AND i lost my appetite.. had breakfast.. a not bad one.. then it just went downhill after tt.. porridge for lunch.. tasteles.. dun event alk abt dinner.. i might as well live on rice,veggie,fruits,subway...meals tasted really bad!i was soooo angry today... frustrated.. at everything!! everyone!! not having good food and all tt.. and i wanted to hit somebody.... seriously!!! i wanted to beat up some useless piece of shit!! like e one living downstairs!! tt i shall say another time!!
so i was and i still am a danger to myself!!! anyone piss me off,u DIE!!!!!!!!!
10:34 PM