yes! this post is to u, Harnie!! although i think u dun have my add.. i cant seem to get my msg onto ur tagboard!! WHY?!?!?

anyway,i read ur blog!! wat happened?! u sound depressed!! something big's on ur mind!! WHY?! well,i cant do or say much! all i can say is,i hope u're feeling better!! pls be feeling better and happy happy!! and go tan!! and there r many many ppl who r here for u!! me included!! :) be strong dearie! u'll pull though watever tt's bothering! i noe u will!!

miss ya loads!! take good care dearie!! dun disappear on everyone!! *Hugzies!!* :)

truck loads of love hugs and kisses, Cyn~*

11:22 PM

YES!! i went clubbing last nite!! finally!! after like 1 yr!! WHEEE!!

my parents let me go!! i didnt even have to put up a fight!! i was so shocked!! they just told me to look after myself! WOW!!

i went with jessica,glen and jaime! and their 3 frens! i think they r mike,ck and junwen! i hope i got their names rite!! so we all headed for Double O!! nice place!! i like e entrance!! itrs a flight of white stairs tt's being lit up with diff coloured lights at certain time intervals!! one moment its purple! e next moment it was pink or something! and according to glen,we can shoot an mtv there!! and after e pretty stairs,is a chill out area/mini-bar! and after tt,e actual club itself! NICE!!

yeap!! and i saw e MOST amusing thing EVER!! it was retro nite i think!! so all e oldies were playing! and u see one grp of ppl standing on e podium dancing! and another grp daning near e DJ! so e podium grp is e enthu grp! e DJ grp is e sian grp!! but they all had one thing in common! HANDSIGNS!!!! YES!! HANDSIGNS!! point here,point there!! eg. when there's e word 'time' in e song,they'll point at their wrists!! so e hand actions represent e lyrics in e songs!! GOODNESS!!! live entertainment! i just stood there and watched and laughed!!

but thank goodness!! e music slowly changed into songs tt were 'more-me'!! RnB and Pop!! i like those better! good for booty shakin and hair flinging!! time to feel sexy and groovy!!! WOOHOO!!! NICE!! e song selection was overall not bad!! or at least i enjoyed it!! ohh jessica loved them too!! :)

me and jessica came up with a conclusion! clubbing for girls is ALOT safer when u go with a grp of good guy frens! yes yes!! guys in clubs dun try to hit on u when girls r with their guy frens!! yes yes!! AND u can wear watever u wan since guys there tend to leave u to club in peace! u can wear a skirt and they wont try anything funny when u've got e protection of ur reliable guy frens!!

at one point,i was on e dance floor with jessica only! all e guys were at e chill out area coz destiny's child's Survivor came on and we both love e song!! so we ran onto e dance floor!! and since we were alone,guys started coming up to us and talking to us! they were all trying to get us to dance with them! YUCK!! but when we were on e dance floor with our guy frens,we could club in peace without being afraid tt some guy will creep up behind u and try something funny!!

so YES!! clubbing is sooooooo much more fun with a mixed grp of frens!! not only do u get to enjoy ur frens' company,but e guys can protect u from psychotic desperate boys!! clubbing without worries is e BEST!!! :)

at e end of e nite,although we were all very tired,we were very satisfied with e nite!! we all had lots of fun!! :)

10:36 PM

tts me.. i can be stupid and vulnerable! yes i can! i've been cheated.. my feelings have been cheated..

u're not suppose to be all nice to me and all of a sudden disappear.. and SUDDENLY come back happily attached! its sick!! e more i think abt it e more sick i feel.. who am i to u then?! somebody u call when u're feeling alone?! when u're bored,u call me and talk to me and be all nice and cheery and happy?! or ask me to go out with u when u're bored and wanna go somewhere with somebody!! and when u're happily enjoying urself,u dun even give a flying rat's ass whether im alive or dead.. JEEZ!! u've been soooooo bloody nice to me.. u give me good company.. and then!!!!!! *sigh* i dun even feel like im a good fren to u.. i tot i was.. i treat u as my good fren.. and apparently,im just another one of ur frens.. i honestly tot i have found a nice decent good guy fren who is reliable and whom i can share my astronomy interest with..

its impt to me tt i have somebody i can talk to and have fun arnd.. and he doesnt even have to be my bf! i dun give a heck abt having a bf! but then i do wanna find myself a good fren! guy or girl!! and it just so happens tt u come by and fulfil almost all e criteria i feel a good fren shld have.. when i was upset,u tried making me feel better.. u're not afraid to do spontaneous crazy things.. u say e stupidest of things.. and we get along very well to me.. AND u're into stars and all e beautiful things there is in space! where in Singapore am i suppose to find somebody like tt?!

DAMN!! i really do enjoy ur company!! i dun even give a damn whether or not u like me!! which btw,i kinda like u!! but tts not e point!! u not liking me is e least of my concerns!! e suckiest and most terrible of all is tt i dun even feel like u treat me as a fren!!!! i feel like a temporary replacement of some sort!! why u gotta be like tt?!?! u big DOO DOO BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!! u do not seem to value my frenship!! u dumbo fair weather FIEND!!!

10:59 AM

yes yes!! Sat, 19th feb!! was a nice fun day!!

my mama got me a digicam!! WHEEEEEEEE!! i do not believe it!! i was suppose to pay for half of it and my mama sponser e other half! BUT! she insisted on paying for it! so there! mummy dearest got me a digicam!! im ohh-so-grateful!!!! ♥

wanted to go for e SAJC fun fair later tt day! BUT!! i reached home kinda late! and i had to take a shower and all coz of e weather! so i couldnt make it there in time! BOOO!! but i did however go for e NTU dance concert with jessica,jaime and lionel!! quite nice lah!! watching it makes me wanna dance again! and go through e process of preparing for e big nite! WOW! all e costumes! and e get together with my long-time-no-see dance frens! late nites hanging arnd and playing in e dance studio! e togetherness and e fun!!! ohh i miss it!! very soon.. we can all start preparing for e concert this yr!!! WHEEEEEEE!!

ohh yes! something funny yet abit embarrassing and at e same time amazing happened to me tt nite! after e concert,we were goin up this flight of stairs to get out of e auditorium! AND i tripped!! in my pretty heels and my pretty outfit! BUT! i amazing thing is,i didnt fall! instead,while i was falling forward,i just used e momentum to run up e stairs until i felt stable enough to stand! kinda hard to explain in words! but yeah! e good thing,i didnt fall!!! i have no idea how i manages to run instead of fall!! i was like 'WOAH!!' yeah!! funny!!

*candice went back to aussie!! im gonna miss u candice!!! *hugzzz!!* & hearts;

12:24 PM

i like e sun! its warm! and bright! makes dark and scary places not dark and scary! and its interesting too! how a big ball of flame can stay in space! very bright and mysterious!

BUT!! nowadays,e sun has become very unfriendly and almost evil or angry or something! its been SO DAMN HOT lately! u gotta carefully pick wat u wear coz u dun wanna be overheated in ur outfit! and u run out of energy by mid-day! e heat is SOOOO intense tt it drains ur energy slowly.. i'll knock out and fall asleep at like 2 plus 3!! my gosh!!

and! u cant leave home without tissue paper and WATER!! u'll perspire! AND,e most terrible of all,u'll be dehydrated all e time!!

its like as if e sun is angry or something and its giving out alot more heat!! goodness gracious!! sun ohh sun! please dun torture poor little souls with ur extremely intense heat!

11:12 PM

yes!! a good day for me! i finally managed to get myself to get out of bed earlier than usual! i lazed in bed for a shorter period of time!!! and i didnt fall back to sleep!! yay for me!! :)

so anyway,yes! i woke up early and did me pilates!! havent done tt in so long coz i was all LAZY!!
yes yes!! :)

i went out for awhile after tt! and when i came back,i decided to go for a jog/walk in e park!!

YAY!! i dun feel as lazy as i did before!!! :)

10:18 PM

i've been feeling very low nowadays.. i've been getting increasingly lazy day by day.. i've been feeling increasingly depressed.. ever since i quit my job..

its not tt i miss my job or anything.. I DUN! tts for sure!! but ever since then,i've been nothing.. and when i say nothing,its really NOTHING.. i spend days confined to my own house with nothing but a breaking down comp,tv and stereo.. and ppl have told me tt its good for me to slack arnd.. and i tot so too at first.. but then,i realised tt im not e kind of preson who can live day by day not doing anything..

i dun have an aim.. i dun have anything to look forward to when i wake up in e morning.. it sucks! it really sucks! a life without anything to look forward to SUCKS!

and i dun have a paycheck now!! so sad!! at least when i was working,not matter how sucky work was,i can look forward to tt one piece of paper tt says how much i have earned.. not tt im not doing anything at all,there's tt one less thing to look forward to and work towards!

its a terrible feeling.. like a soul wandering arnd aimlessly.. with nothing to do,nowhere to go..

*sigh*

8:56 PM

its e lunar new yr once again! its my fav holiday of e year! and yet rite now,at this point in time,im feeling bored like nobody's bee's wax!!

new yr's eve
i went out earlier in e day for a hair appointment! got my hair all pretty for e new yr! came back home and had tuan yuan fan with my family!! i was sooooo happy!! to me,new yr's all abt family and getting together.. no matter how busy ur life may be,whenever its new yr,everyone MUST come together and enjoy a meal together! coz sometimes,ppl tend to get soooo busy,we dun exactly have a proper meal with our families! so i was very happy!!! i had steamboat!! and i ate a hell load of dong fen!!! YUM!!!!! after dinner,me and my sisters stayed in and gave ourselves a manicure!!! a oretty pretty manicure!! OOoooo!! and we all managed to catch e 10min long fireworks!!! WOW!!! pretty!!!
~*~

1st day of new yr
i was soooooooo excited!! i had pretty new clothes tt i couldnt wait to wear!! i had beautifully manicured nails,done by urs truely,tt looks like they're professionally done!! (im so proud of myself!) and iwas looking forward to visiting and getting ang baos!! so on this day,i only went to 3 places.. and got only 2 ang baos.. No.1 : my mama's office.. No.2 : my parents' fren's house.. (where i got 1 ang bao) no.3 : this uncle's house.. (i always go there to pray) and i got no ang baos! i think he forgot! so u must be wondering where e 2nd one came from yeah?! well,it came from my mama!! :)

so i was sad and yet happy at e same time! happy coz its new yr! and its tradition to run arnd in new clothes and be extremely nice and generous to ppl!! but at e same time,i got very little ang baos! so iw as abit sad! im like a little kid! where receiving ang baos is like THE most exciting part of new yr!! my sisters dun get much coz we dun visit alot of ppl! we only visit my 3 aunts,my mum's fren(only 1) and e other uncle! so tts abt it! and of course,e ang baos received is limited! =..(
~*~

2nd day of new yr
stayed home e WHOLE day! waitee for my cousins to come over! they only came at abt 4ish! so me and my sisters had one entire day to spare! at first,i baked muffins!! e ohh-so-very nice banana crumb muffin! which took up e whole morning! after tt,we had nothing to do!! so later,we turned on Lord of the Rings II for my daddy to watch!! we sat there for 3 hrs plus plus plus to watch coz its e extended version!! then my cousins came over and we had our ever-yr-reunion-dinner!! tts abt all!! ohh my elder sister's frens came over for dinner too!! talked to them abit and tt was basically all tt there was!! so yeah i was bored half e day!!
~*~

3rd day of new yr
it is THE worst!! i stayed home!! im only goin out later in e day! and im already bored stiff!! after lunch,i went abit bazoook!! i was all crazy and saying funny things in funny voices and screaming on top of my lungs!! eeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!
~*~

from e eve till now
i suddenly have this appetite tt came from nowhere!!!! i ate ALOT!!! goodness gracious!! my system is filled with dong fen now!! i ate LOADS on new yr's eve! and i had 3 rounds of DONG FEN ONLY on e 2nd day!! MAN!! i spend all my time infront of e tv eating!!! and tts most of e time!! goodness!! for axample,today,i had bread,bak kwa and some other chinese-new-yr-thing for breakfast.. later in e day,i had MORE of some chinese-new-yr-thing!! i dunno wat its called so i'll just call it e chinese-new-yr-thing!! and bak kwa too!! then immediately after tt,i had lunch! i finished EVERYTHING.. and then,i went to sleep shortly after tt coz iwas sooooo tired!!!! OHH NO!!!! but e main thing is,im still happy though im very extremely bored!! :)

3:39 PM

i've had enough.. i've had enough of trying to tell my mum how i feel.. or how we feel.. we meaning me and my sisters.. coz she never listens.. i mean NEVER..

here i was trying to explain to her how,in this generation,relationships work differently as compared to e past.. ppl get into relationships to find out if he or she is rite for marriage.. but for my mum,and my dad i think,they see it as: ppl get into re;ationships and then they confirm get married.. -_-!! my sister and i have been trying so hard to tell her and make her understand tt it doesnt work tt way!! there's a whole argument now coz my sister has a christian bf and my mum is against it.. she keeps insisting tt they'll get married.. -_-!!

im just soooooo sick and tired of telling her e same things over and over again.. and e best part of it all? she interrupts when im explaining something to her..
me : mummy u have to understand tt we r not considering a guy for marriage now..
mum : (in chinese) coz if u get a christian hubby, ....

great.. just great..

9:20 PM