something really fun happened to me hui and jess on wed! i forgot abt tt till like today! hehe!

anyway,we were at great world city and it was after dinner! so we all wanted e bathroom! we walked arnd e plae trying to look for one! at one particular corridor/walkway or watever,one of e shops were playing destiny's child's 'Girl' really loud! so at tt point,we felt like we were destiny's child in tt video! where they walk e street looking pretty! just tt we were walking in a shopping center feeling pretty! hehehe! tt was fun!! :)

11:33 AM

yesterday was a good day!! ohh yes it was! i finally got to meet hui! after sooo long! and Jessica!! :) we went back to SAJC for a little celebration with our dance juniors! because.. they won SYF with a 'Gold with Honours'!! yes yes!! good for u guys!! im sooooooo proud!! :)

it was great being back in sch! missed sch for everything else except for studying and goin for lessons! which means,I MISS DANCE!! hehehe!! yeah! e 3 of us miss prancing arnd e dance studio and running to e cafe to get food and drinks! hehehe! AND zaki had crazy socks on!! like rainbow coloured socks tt go all e way up to ur knees!! its soooo coool! apparently,he has 7 pairs of those cute coloured socks!!! hehehe!! yup! so tt was fun!!

after tt,we all went over to hui's house to doll up for e nite!! i saw bridget!! ohh cute bridget!! is it she CUTE?!?!?!?! yes she it!! so we got all dressed up,went out to eat and went to Zouk!!!!! it was fun!! although zouk was mambo nite and phuture was EXTREMELY crowded!! seriously! everyone was packed like sardines!!! there were a couple of annoying guys! but wat's new rite?! me and hui diva attitude-ded some guys! like for pushing and trying funny things! met some SA guys whom we didnt noe personally,but they took care of us! so sweet! coz we bumped into qianling and e guys were with her! so she kinda helped us get a nice spot with her gang! thank u! :) if we hadnt bumped into her,we would have been like lost in e crowd!

we were well protected by some really nice guys except for one,who tried to get us to dance with him after awhile.. like WAT?! but anyway,e 3 of us just had a blast!! we PARTIED like dunno wat!!! had a LOAD of fun! its was my first time clubbing with hui!! it was really great!! wheeee!! i had fun with ma girls!! like 3 HOT girls in a club!! hahahaaha!! me wanna go again!! weeeeheee!!

Clubbing Us!! Finally!! :)

8:34 PM

i got cheated.. yes i did.. notice tt im updating now.. shldnt i be relief teaching rite abt now? well as much as i would like to say tt im updating using e sch comp,i cant! coz!! e job was taken away from me!

after tuition yesterday,i recieved a phonecall from e same lady who called me yesterday morning! she told me tt i dun have to come down for e next 3 days because e ministry made a mistake.. -_-!

yes.. so yeah! i dun have e relief teaching job.. feel crushed.. but of course,its temporary! *sigh* just think it all sucks! its e ministry! they r like all high tech now coz every single application can be made thru e net! THEN they make a STUPID little mistake like tt!

i was all psyched up abt it! initially i was scared! but then,i eventually decided not to let my fear get e best of me.. i even tot abt wat to say when im there,wat to do when im there and WAT TO WEAR!!! Bleh!!!!

10:20 AM

i received a call today.. this morning.. just now.. from i dunno who.. she didnt introduce herself.. but anyway,i was given a relief teaching job!! my goodnesssssss!!! its so out of e blue! so sudden! so unexpected!! so yeah! suppose to just go for 3 says,and babysit!! control e class! make sure they dun wreck havoc!! do u think i can do tt?! i hope i can! i think i can! im gonna try!! :)

im excited and yet extremely scared!! excited coz its relief teaching! i've been waiting and waiting for sooo long! i tot my application was burnt or something! haha! i cant wait to experience wat standing infront of an entire class and talking to e kids is like! WOW!! scared coz i dunno wat to expect! i dunno who im taking over for awhile! i dunno how e kids r gonna be like! i dunno wat's gonna happen!! i dunno how im gonna have lunch! i dun like eating alone! its sad! i'll be sad!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!! i'll have to wait and see wat happens!!

i can actually imagine myself there! talking to e kids! having fun! i just hope it turns out e way i would like it to! my my!! i gotta be very careful with e way i handle myself and with wat i say! if i come across as cute and bubbly,i'll be bullied!! so i cant do tt! i cant be overly happy! i must be fun and yet still have an air of authority! so tt they will respect me and at e same time,noe tt they can still talk to me and have fun! WOAH! sounds very hard neh!!

wish me luck! hehehe! :)

11:08 AM

yes yes!! me hui and jess r goin for e Kylie Minogue Concert in June!! OHH ME GOSH!!! its KYLIE!! and her kylie's greatest hits concert!! WOW!! how exciting is tt?!?!?! its a little ex!! but im sure its well worth it!! and i hope my mum can sponser a beeeeeeet! hehehehe!! :)

ohh another thing,i ate rasberries! yes u heard me!! RASBERRIES!!!!! i was at e KAP cold storage today and i was suppose to be looking for lemons! but e lemons there were damn ugly! and then,near e lemons were these strange looking melon thing! it was spiky and orange and yellow! it looked scary!! almost like a bug or a huge worm! (sorry hui!!) i freaked! but before i left,i noticed,higher up on e same shelf,were RASBERRIES!! i told myself tt i COULD NOT leave e house w/o a box! so i took it! a little box,like e blueberry ones,for like $9.90! WOAH!! but!! they tasted DAMN good! Sweet and it almost melts in ur mouth! bouncy!! tasty!! just fantastic!! WOW!!!!! sooooo happy!!! and i had strawberries tooooo!! those were great toooo!! havent had strawberries in a while! nice and sweet!! hui and jess,we HAVE to go to e beach with a BIG box of strawberries!! and MAYBE rasberries if they're still arnd by e time we go!! :)

ohh one bad thing though.. my body or my digestive system needs some serious detoxing.. i feel bloated ALL e time.. whether i eat or not.. eat too much or eat little.. damn! its really uncomfortable.. my whole entire system seems stuck somehow!! like something inside has decided to turn off and go on a vacation or something.. feel clogged!! so from tmr onwards,im gonna be on a mostly fruits,vegetables and water diet.. dun worry! im still gonna eat! just tt im gonna have more of those! and less meaty stuff.. less of fried and heaty stuff as well.. or anything tt i feel is abit 'extreme' for my messed up system.. and after tt,im gonna try e lemon-juice-in-water every morning!! just like jess suggested! hopefully my system will be cleared and become normal after tt!! please let it be ok sooooon!

8:17 PM

i met jessica today! she asked me to go with her to this complimentary lesson at True Yoga! its an extremely nice place! e setting.. e furniture.. e decorations.. e candles! extremely pretty! so she booked this Combat Yoga class! its a combination of kickboxing and yoga! NICE! wow! it was a heck of a workout! i perspired liek dunno wat!! elast time tt happened was wat? last yr? dance prac! HAHA! so we both felt really good after tt!! but we both agreed tt we were gonna have serious muscle pains tmr! hahaha!!

we wanted to join as members.. but then,too ex.. its like $1000 plus a mth! and its not like either of us have a proper paycheck! so.. we couldnt join! ah sad!!!!!

after e lesson,we went for lunch at nydc and i ordered e Bratwurst Sausage Sandwich! WAH HECK! its damn big!! i think it could be as big as my face or bigger still! rite jessica?! hahaha! and of course i didnt finish it! i left e bread behind and ate everything else! hahaha! those were some goooood sausages! i like! then we went to do a weeee bit of shopping! :)

it was a great day today! finally got to meet jess! she's been soo busy lately! i'll be looking forward to tanning, clubbin and swimmin sessions with her! and hui! hi hi!! KYLIE MINOGUE CONCERT!!!

AND i'll be lookin forward to meeting my much missed girlfrens! hi hi hi!! :)

5:51 PM

wat has e world become?! where have all of e love gone?!

i was talking to my sister this afternoon abt charity efforts in s'pore.. my country.. my home.. i gotta say.. i love it here.. i love e fact tt i have found all e wonderful ppl arnd me HERE.. i love where i live.. i love my surroundings.. i love e fact tt it is alot safer to run arnd here than anywhere else in e world.. however,i hate e charity programmes here and e things tt r done to get donations.. AND sometimes i feel like e very place i love,has no warmth in it..

wat am i talking abt?! the NKF charity show.. its gotta be THE most disgusting charity efforts in the ENTIRE world!!!! "call this no. now and u stand to win a $5000 credit card!" for wat?! for u to shop! fuck.. u make a call or maybe 8 at one shot.. k if u call once,u r perhaps donating wat? $5? and if u make 8 calls at one shot,u will be donating $40.. AND u get $5000 in return to shop.. like wat e fuck is tt?! u DO NOT need something in return when u donate a WEEEEE bit of ur money to charity.. NKF manages to get millions of dollars for donations every fucking yr.. and every one of these fucking yrs,they have more than one show.. i used to support them when i was younger.. i would make e effort to call at least once.. of course with e permission from my mum lah! but now tt im old enough to think.. i think its a load of bullshit if u ask me..

charity is from e heart.. its totally voluntary.. and NO ONE shld EVER expect anything in return.. and if u donate just to get e prize,u're a scum of e universe.. u r a complete waste of space in s'pore.. s'pore already has sooo little space.. we dun need useless scumbags to waste wat little space we have.. JeeeZZzz!! sucks so bad! "call (watever no.) now and u stand a chance to win a volvo dunno wat!" and i think if i didnt see it wrongly,this yr,there's a prize of $910,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!! whether its in cash or cash prizes, FUCK!!!!!! u can save tt HUGE sum of money to save even more ppl u dumbasses!! and they give away $1000 within a particular interval of time i think! its e WORST way of doing charity!! wat would foreigners think of us?! tt we r money hungry ppl who would only do something kind for someone when u can win cash prizes?!?!?!? JeeeezzzZZZzz!!!! think abt it,if u add up ALL e money they use for e prizes,it'll add up to millions!!! and wat can u do with tt millions?!?! SAVE PPL'S LIVES!!!!!!

and on top of tt!! e shows r full of 'stunts'.. and notice... ch5 artistes dont seem to be involved? wat happened to achieving more with more ppl?! and do u need these so called 'stunts'?!

"Ladies and gentlemen! as u can see, (whoever), is risking his/her life just to help these patients! this stunt tt u see before u is not to be attempted by anyone as it is very dangerous! pls call to support (whoever) and e patients now!"

half e time,e stunts r faked.. ppl look scared while doing e stunts.. im not saying tt it is easy or anything.. but they tend to exaggerate ALOT and stall time ALOT!!

in e latest charity show...
eg 1. a bunch of ppl r suppose to free someone else who is chained to a tank tt is filling up with water.. e bunch of ppl,broken up into various grps,r suppose to go thru a series of challenges to get keys tt will unlock a chain each.. when it reached e last girl,who was suppose to accelerate a car and ram some other guy against wat looked like extremely thin wood,e girl froze,looked scared.. and stalled and Stalled and STALLED.. so e poor person in e tank,who had water up to her waist at first,had water all e way up to her neck while e car person was stalling in e car!! and btw,e person in e tank? she was standing..

eg 2. initially,i tot it was a very cool idea when they had a human water fountain.. where ppl lie flat on their backs and spray water thru their mouths.. i tot it was really different! u noe,different from e other death-defying or dangerous things tt they do? BUT... something happened after tt DISGUSTED me.. after e ppl finished their performance,they were all shivering.. i dunno if its real or not.. but personally,it looked abit fake.. and e thing is,since e bloody studio belongs to mediacorp,why not increase e fucking temperature for tt item?! or rather,hold it outside damn it!! musical fountain is suppose to be something enjoyable and extremely entertaining! at least tts how i remember it! its not suppose to be nice and then! u see ppl shivering from cold tt doesnt look at all convincing in my eyes! JEeZZZZ!!

charity is suppose to be a fun thing! tt get everyone involved! its suppose to be e coming together of various ppl! star or not star.. charity's suppose to bring ppl together.. let them realise tt we r much more fortunate compared to some of e other ppl out there! its suppose to let us appreciate e things we have arnd us! its suppose to inspire and push ppl to do something.. anything.. small or big.. donate like $10,000 a yr if u have e means.. or donate $5 a few times in a yr.. or even,visit ppl who r less fortunate.. let them have a fren.. give them company.. charity's suppose to be unconditional.. like 'party in e park'! stars r invited to perform in a huge open area! attract ppl and at e same time get them to contribute! i would like to go to one of those! i wouldnt even mind paying $100 for e tix if tt $100 was goin to charity.. i guess not everyone thinks e same way i do..

and another thing tt disturbs me still? e tsunami.. it affected so many lives.. it was so near to us.. and yet,i dun feel like anything has been done to help those affected.. i cant say tt there isnt.. im sure there is.. like smrt? they managed to get $600,000 plus.. if i didnt remember e figures wrongly.. food and medicine and help was sent over.. unofficially.. e mrt thing is abit pathetic to me.. MILLIONS of ppl take e mrt everyday.. if every one were to donate just $1,we would have raised millions of dollars.. just because it didnt hit us doesnt mean tt we shld go abt our everyday lives while ppl in e army go over and help.. we need to do more.. s'poreans r really taking ALOT for granted..we could do so much more.. its such a disaster and NKF is still trying to get soooo much money from ppl.. im not saying tt kidney patients r not impt or tt their sickness can be put on hold.. i just generally feel tt soooo much more can be done to help e ppl.. and to me,e tsunami disaster is a more pressing situation than NKF,which happens EVERY yr! e least they can do is perhaps postpone it? to later in e yr?

i think it'll bo so nice if we had one week specially for doing charity.. we get as much donations as we can for as many charity organisation as possible.. then split e money according to e individual needs.. its a week specially dedicated to e less fortunate.. create awareness.. like "hey u! u could do a little something! and i mean a LITTLE something to save someone!!" and encourage ppl to do their part.. like some public show at orchard.. a BIG public show..maybe it can even be some fashion show to raise money tooo! or performances by artistes or bands,famous or not famous! e point is to encourage! imagine if u could enjoy LIVE music and at e same time do something nice for someone who needs it.. its a period where everyone is involved! ch5 ppl,ch8 ppl,chU ppl! ordinary ppl! there can even be little stalls set up along e streets to sell little things like bookmarks,food,jewelry,clothes!!

*sigh* i guess its just me and some other warm hearted and really kind ppl who would want something like tt! wat a wonderful world it would be!!! screw kindness week!! JeeezZZ!!!

11:18 PM

YUM!! totally YUM!!! i made tt for lunch today for me and me maid! it was supposed to be just an experiment! but it turned out really goood!!

its got bacon and olive oil and a truck load of garlic and italian herbs! and VOILA!!! LUNCH!! very nice!! im gonna cook it again!! sooon!

anyone wants some?! call me! ;)

8:17 PM

The Egyption God,Horus

isnt this e coolest?!?!?! well,i think its coool!! its in The Louvre!! i wanna go!!!! somebody take me on an all expense paid trip to The Louvre pls!! ;)

12:55 PM

im not gonna dread e next 2 months or so! why?! coz my frens r finishing their exams! and i can meet them sooon! and see all my much missed frens!! WHeeeeeee!!

anyway,i was watching Anthony Bourdain's 'A Cook's Tour'! and he was in s'pore! AND he met up with e makansutra guy,watever his name is! and they went to this eating place at geylang called 'Sin Huat Eating House'! WOW!!! e food looks DAMN nice!! it serves mainly seafood! all fresh! killed on e spot! there's scallop,fish,prawns,this shell thing which i do not noe e name of! and crab beehoon!! WAH!!! i was drooling in front of e tv!! didnt noe s'pore has soooo many types of gooooood foood! MUST.... GO... EAT!!

ohh yes!! i finally got to call candice today!! WOW!! i've been trying to find out how to call her! coz everytime i try,i cant get thru coz of some reason! anyway,it was soooo nice finally able to talk to her! miss her sooooo much!! i wanna go over there and give her a nice big hug!! hehehe! :)

11:19 AM

and i dunno where to start from.. hmmmmm.. *ponder ponder*

Experiences with bugs.. :
i remember 2 experiences with bugs..

Experience 1:
i was at jurong east interchange waiting for bus to my student's place! AND! i saw!! a freak of a.... COCKROACH!! with wings and all!! EEEEEEEEEKKKK!! i was by myself.. scared to death of it! FLIES! it FLIES!!! FREAK! MAN!! e first thing i did was climb and sit on e metal railing! and then! i prayed and hoped so hard tt it will not come ANYWHERE near me! MAN!!

Experience 2:
i was out with Mr.Garlic! to e esplanade to chill! ran arnd e place and ended up at e roof terrace! i had a nice lil' subway double choc chip cookie tt i was suppose to bring home with me.. BUT! e cookie never made it home with me.. see! they revamped e place! put trees and grass and all.. and where there r trees and grass,there're also BUGS.. yeap! so we were happily chilling beside this patch of grass.. e cookie sitting beside me and my lil pouch beside e cookie.. i wanted to get my phone! THEN!! goooooooodneessssss graciousssss!!!! there was a heap of ants swarming over e cookie!!!!!!! we got a shock of our freakin lives!! so e cookie didnt go home with me! it had e bin as its new home.. no more cookie!!!!! there was really ALOT! i tried to smack them all with my slippers! but then,it doesnt seem to work! smack and smack already,they're still scrambling all over e place!!! goodness! we both had chills for awhile after tt!! EEeeeEEeeee...

Conclusion:
cockroaches and ants shld not exist in e world!!!!!!! hmmm.. maybe ants can.. but cockroaches,for wat?! they run arnd,looking all disgusting! scaring poor unfortunate souls like me!! spread diseases and roam arnd in garbage!! SICK!

~*~

i've had encounters with pig-asses of all ages! but tts abit long! so i MIGHT write abt it another day lah! :)

and btw,i miss all my frens!! girlfrens! guy frens! anyone whom i havent met in a long time and i am dying to meet them! ppl i enjoy hanging out with soooooo much!! I MISS U ALL!!

10:05 PM

can someone tell me how to cure a mini food poisoning without goin to e doctors?

e mini food poisoning was caused by dinner! had dinner at home.. had some prawns.. e prawns caused it.. think its not fresh or something.. younger sis had 1.. maid had 3 or 4.. i had more than 10! why?! coz i see so much left over prawns like very sayang! so i eat lor!! i shall NEVER do tt again! eat coz very sayang and wasted! bad me!!

i woke up at 3am last nite with a fuzzy tummy.. my tummy was all warm and bloated.. felt like it was burning.. extremely uncomfortable.. tried to puke but couldnt.. suffered for like an hr before i finally puked.. then,i had to sleep in e living room just in case i wanted to puke somemore.. finally at 5,i decided tt i didnt have to puke already.. so i went back to e comfort of my bed to have a nice continued sleep..

woke up finally still feeling fuzzy.. tummy still feeling warm.. didnt have much for breakfast.. took 'bao ji wan'.. felt better and went out feeling hungry.. by noon,i was DAMN hungry! had lunch.. then at like 3 in e afternoon,i felt like puking again.. tummy felt warm again.. took 'bao ji wan' again.. felt better.. before 6,felt hungry again.. went home for dinner.. now tummy feels a lil weird again.. this time,no more 'bao ji wan' for me to take.. and i dunno if my tummy's really messed up or im hungry..

this sucks man!! tummy feels weird,then hungry,then weird then hungry then etc etc etc..... somebody help me!!!!!!!!! tried warm water.. ate soupy and not too heavy things.. took medicine.. tried not to eat too much.. all doesnt work!! me dun wanna puke! me dun like to puke!! =..(

10:31 PM

yes yes! im very silly.. wat's new?!

anyways,this is wat happened... had a hair appointment today! hairdresser told me i've got lots of oil clots on me face! she said tt i shld remove them! otherwise saying 'Squeeze em all out!'.. yeap! so i went home and i did just tt! its all mainly on me nose! so there i was happily squeezing squeezing! some of them r very stubborn! refuses to clear! so how?! squeeze harder lor! then how?! kena bruised! yes i've got little pathes of pinks and swells and purple on me nose!! poor me!!! see lah!!! i need professional help!!

silly ol' me!! pls heal quick!! i dun wanna go out with a bruised up lil nose!! bleh!!

11:14 PM

i wan out..

i wanna get out..

i need to get out..

i wanna go far far away from here..

i dun wanna see..

i dun wanna hear..

i dun wanna feel..

get me out..

5:28 PM

i havent been good e pass 2 days or so.. dunno wat's happening to me.. everything seems like a bloody mess.. ohh wait! there IS nothing in my life.. ohh ho ho ho..

i wish i could blame someone for my fucked up computer.. all e bloody pop ups and e lagginess.. but i noe there is no one to blame..

DAMN IT! did i search for Structured Settlement?! no.. did i search for dating?! No!! did i search for anything at all tt appears on a fucking pop up?!?!? NO!!!!

as i was saying.. i've been in terrible mood lately.. i go from :) to :( in a flash.. its not pms.. tts for sure.. so i dunno wat it is now.. i dun understand why i feel so angry all of a sudden.. i've been not-doing-much for awhile now.. and there were times when i'll get pissed,but i eventually get over it somehow and was never too bothered with it.. hmmm.. maybe its all accumulated.. and one fine day,i just couldnt take it anymore.. hmmm.. maybe tts it..

i had dinner alone today.. me and my tv.. there's ppl at home,but we're not interacting.. so it was me,food and tv.. GREAT.. my parents havent had dinner at home all week and dinner's e only time i actually eat with my parents.. i kinda miss havin dinner with them.. i hate comin home to an almost empty house where my parents r not arnd.. i wanna come home from tuition and a half hr later,i'll be greeting my parents 'Mummy! Daddy!'.. and abt 5 to 10mins later,we'll all be seated at my small dining table having dinner together.. and either my mum or my dad will ask me 'so how was tuition today?' and i would tell them tt i had a headache today and her maths is really weak so i gotta think of different ways to teach her.. and after dinner,we'll all proceed to e living room to watch tv and have some nice fruits..

my elder sis has been out with her bf.. well,i dun blame her.. my younger sis? she's home.. but she's outside e house chilling and hanging with her neighbour fren.. she even had her dinner outside with her fren! *sigh* and so im left alone to eat just like tt..

today was a beautiful day.. sunny and bright.. although a little too hot.. but it was ok.. there were patches of white fluffy clouds in e sky.. not grey.. so tt was good.. and i could see e blue in e sky.. which was good tooo.. and e last time i looked in e sky? i think its gonna rain.. but its ok.. it wont be as gloomy as if it were to be in e day.. i hope there's a huge storm.. with lightning and thunder and all.. it'll be cold and i'll be able to lightning watch..

and as if i wasnt feeling bad enough,my younger sis had to piss me off even more.. she wanted to get drinks from e supermarket downstairs.. she take $2 from her savings,come out of her room,come up to me and say 'ze! later must pay me back $1 for e drink hor!' im like wat e fuck?! 1 dollar.. ONE fucking dollar.. me and my sister pays for her stuff when we're out together.. and her she is.. asking me for one fucking dollar.. i had nothing to say.. after she bought e drink,my bottle of green tea was in a plastic bag.. i said 'celine,can u help me get rid of e bag?' she told me 'sorry got no hands!' and its not tt she had no hands.. she didnt wanna help me.. GREAT..

i think im on my way to losing weight.. not tt i want to.. i havent had much appetite lately.. considering i have breakfast alone.. lunch alone.. and dinner alone.. hmmm.. dun think i'll get any appetite.. and coz of e way im feeling now and with everything e way they r,everything is tasteless to me.. rice is tasteless.. and guess wat! i have always tot tt rice has got a leeetle bit of sweetness to it.. but its tasteless now.. vegetables r tasteless.. meats r tasteless.. i feel like i need to dump like a bottle of soy sauce to taste anything.. im drinking green tea now.. and yes.. u guessed it.. tasteless...

my usual cheery and optimistic self is gone.. completely gone.. taken over by an angry-at-everything self.. i sooooo want my cheery me back.. pls let ME come back sooon...

ohh btw,i've decided to apply for teaching post tmr.. and if i still dun get it this time round,MOE can go fuck itself..

7:32 PM

nowadays,waking up is a chore for me.. i've got no drive.. no motivation.. nothing to look forward to when i wake up in e morning.. it has gone to e point where i dun even feel like waking up in e morning coz there's nothing for me anyway.. e only reason i even wake up,is I Have To.. i cant sleep e whole day.. sleep my life away.. rite now,i wanna sleep.. sleep and not wake up.. i havent felt like this in so long.. anger,frustration,thoughtless,bored..

i wake up every morning,angry.. i wanna scold everything.. i scold everything.. e first word tt comes to my mind every morning: Fuck.. 'fuck e table..' 'fuck breakfast..' 'fuck i have nothing to do..' 'fuck bacon & eggs' im angry at everything,everyone.. with or without a reason.. and i dun even noe how i can wake up every morning and feel soooo fucking angry.. i have no idea how i even became this way..

i've got fucking dark circles tt refuses to go away.. i feel fucking lazy.. i desperately wanna do something but i cant seem to get my ass off of watever im sitting or lying on to go do it.. i havent been exercising.. i havent been moving alot.. i feel like fucking jelly.. i havent been thinking abt anything.. its like i can donate my brain to somebody already..

it seems like no matter wat i do,i still feel tired.. i still feel lazy.. i still have fucking dark cirlces.. my eyes feel permanently tired and swollen.. i feel like i look fucking haggered.. and i have no idea wat to do abt everything..

i've slept early.. and woken up early.. i've given myself sufficient amt of sleep.. i've bought myself eye cream.. i've found things to do.. like tuition.. learning e guitar.. reading.. driving.. and i've got an earring business tts still developing.. but something still feels missing..

FUCK E POP UPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant live my life without a goal and an aim or a drive.. i cant.. I DID NOT SEARCH FOR FUCKING CASINOS!!!!! i wanna be in sch.. i wanna do hw.. i wanna have assignments.. i wanna have a CCA.. i dun even mind being sleep deprived!! i wanna be a part of a FUCKING sch!! i dun wanna live my life like this..

wat i do in a week.. stay home,tuition,stay home,tuition,etc,etc,etc.... now,even tuition doesnt give me e drive.. i love tutoring i do.. i love my student! she's cute as a doll.. and i've tried applying for more tutoring jobs.. but i dun get them.. why? coz i dun have experience.. i got no FUCKING experience.. DAMN IT! i'll NEVER have experience if no one gives me a chance to try!!!! FUCK U ALL!!!!!!!! _l_

when i feel lazy or tired or watever,i've tried telling myself 'its ok.. sleep early tonight and wake up nice and early tmr morning.. tmr's a new day and a fresh start..' yeah rite.. NEVER turns out tt way..

i envy my tired and sleep deprived frens.. frens who r in sch and swamped with projects,hw and meetings.. its tiring yes.. but it definitely beats staying home all day,rotting and being completely aimless.. ppl tell me.. 'ohh my god! so lucky! u get all e time in e world to do watever u wan!' HAHAHAHAHA!! no way! wat's e point if wat u want is to belong somewhere.. use ur brain.. complete assignments and meet deadlines.. take watever free time u have to meet up with ur busy frens to catch up and have coffee.. be somebody and do something besides nothing.. i cant meet my frens.. i noe they're all busy.. i noe they all have exams to focus on right now..

*sigh* i've never felt sooo alone.. no one can help me.. no one can tell me.. 'there! do this..' or 'here's something for u to do..' or 'ohh hey! i've planned ur life for u! see how u like it!' NO.. no one can tell me wat to do next.. only me.. I have to think abt wat I wanna do next.. wat I wanna do with my life.. I have to find my own motivation and drive..

12:27 PM

You scored as Anna Sui. Anna Sui 92% Burberry 92% Diesel 83% Dior 83% Chanel 75% Gucci 75% Abercrombie & Fitch 75% DKNY 50% Tommy Hilfiger 42% Louis Vuitton 17% What Designer Brand Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

im an Anna Sui! oooooooo!! i kinda like Anna Sui makeup stuff! they're pretty!! hmmmm.. i wanna go see e clothes!! ohh and btw,i totally ADORE e dress!! heheehe! :)

10:01 PM

Me & Hui star-struck!! :)

today!! i went out with hui coz initially i needed to talk to her abt alot of stuff! and i did! but besides talking,we were shopping in town! window shopping tt is!! we went to all e branded shops just to look see! wanna see all their nice nice merchandise tt we both wished sooo bad we could have! k tts not e point!!

our last stop for e day was taka! as u can all see from e pic! we passed by e open area at e basement where they always have funny things like some food festival thing,or some sale thing! so today's was some loreal thing! to promote their products! and there was this show! hosted by,Randall Tan! some makeover show! and Cheryl Miles was makeover-ing some lady! at first we were at e first floor looking down! but somehow we decided to go downstairs to have a better look at him! coz ya noe,we both adore him!!

we happily went down and like less than 5 mins later,e first part of e show was over! cheryl mile got off stage first and she walked pass us with e being-makeovered lady! and boy did we pick a good spot!! coz awhile later,Randall Tan got off stage and walked pass us!! and of course,like 2 crazy star struck girls,we screamed and hyper-ventilated! THEN! i realised tt i had my digicam!! THANK GOODNESS FOR DIGICAM!! we hyper-ventilated even more coz we realised tt..... 'Ohh my goodness!! we could take a photo with him!! Ohh My Gosh!' we hesitated awhile coz we didnt noe wat to do or say! and while we were hesitating at e side,Randall Tan walked further away! we couldnt let it happen of course! so we followed! and before we knew it! hui dragged me over and asked if we could take a photo with him! he was very quiet and abit shy! so anyway,we got somebody to take a photo for us! and since Cheryl Miles,was nearby,she was in e pic too! she's very pretty btw!! :) and there was some professional photographer guy who took like 4 shots of all of us! wonder if it'll turn up in some magazine... hmmmm.. *ponder ponder!* hehehe! ;)

after taking photo,hui was talking to Cheryl Miles abt one of her plays! and since i didnt watch it,i didnt say anything! and since Randall Tan wasnt in it,he wasnt saying anything too! so i was thinking if i shld say something to him! but then! i didnt noe wat to say! and i didnt dare to look at him either,although he IS very good-looking,coz i was very nervous and on e verge of fainting!! so e both of us just kept quiet and listen to hui and Cheryl Miles talk! after tt,hui told Randall Tan tt he was good in 'Chase'! and he got abit embarrassed and shy! so CUTE! i didnt say anything to either of them coz i didnt watch e play and i didnt catch 'Chase'! so how?! i just stood there and kept smiling!! i actually wanted to tell him tt i've made sandwiches for him before while i was working at subway!! but i decided not too! too fan-ie! hehehe!!

so tt was it! tt was our start struck moment! they were both very nice! not like snobby or mean or anything! me and hui were still hyper-ventilating after leaving taka and orchard! OHH MY GOODNESS!! Randall Tan is very GOOD-LOOKING!! im still hyper-ventilating abit! :)

ohh yes! another thing! bad thing! i didnt change my digicam setting! so now e photo is not say very big and its abit blur tooo!! great! i hyper-ventilated! tts why!! =..(

*thank you nice lady for taking our pic! :)

5:51 PM

*faints 5 times!*

HEHEHE!! if u have spoken to me recently on MSN,u would noe tt my nick is 'Boy Crazy Me!!'.. yes i am boy crazy! hehehe! dunno why also!! i've been told tt its coz i've been doin nothing much recently! so how?! good-looking guys take over my mind!! hehehe!! so yes! i've been boy crazier than usual! nothing wrong with tt!! :)

i spent some time just now coz i was bored stiff!! so wat did i do?! made myself a lil pic of e top 5 celebrities tt i absolutely ADORE!! let me intro them! hehehe!! clockwise from e top left: Topher Grace, 'That 70s Show' and e recent 'In Good Company'. Dan Estrin, guitarist of Hoobastank. Keanu Reeves, 'Speed' & 'Matrix' & 'Constantine'. Eric Szmanda, 'CSI Las Vegas'. Orlando Bloom, pretty elf in 'Lord Of The Rings'. YAY!! hehehehe!! can DIE lah!! :)

so as u all can tell,im still bored! and i will continue to be bored till im occupied with goodness noes wat!! admiring good-looking guys is a pretty good pass-time dun ya think?! ;)

9:40 PM

e title explains it all..

im sooo bored.. e annoying thing,there is actually quite alot of things to do! but then! when i actually sit down and do it,i feel sian all over again! why is it?! BLEH!

and its cold today!! gloomy and cold!! why is it?!?!

hmmm.. think i'll go read a book or 2 now! hope i dun get sick of it!! :)

3:26 PM