I just made a huge realisation today. I don't want to go for dance camp. I'm seriously dreading it. The only workshop I want to go for is the Yoga workshop that is offered. BUT.. I'm going to miss that because of fucking re-enrolment at my (full of wonderful policies) school.

It's surprising that I'm dreading dance, considering I love it so much. Don't get me wrong, I still love dance. But I'm not happy in the group I'm a part of. I'm honoured to be a part of them and I think they're a fantastic bunch of dancers but I'm just not as into dance as I was before anymore. I think I'm just in the wrong group. I feel out of place, as I always have been with a lot of other people. My passion now, is in something else that is not related to dance.

To make things worst, I have to do ballet. Once every week. I honestly hate doing ballet. Ballet is beautiful to watch, but I'm not a ballet person. I tried it once and I totally hated it. I felt so awkward doing it. It's something that I wish I never have to do again. I'll just watch and be amazed at all the graceful and strong dancers.

I'm really just dreading the four days of intensive dance training. I'm just looking forward to Friday and the weekend. I'll feel a greater sense of achievement then. I really would rather do anything but dance. I don't mind watching dance and dancing abit in my free time. I just don't want to be made to attend the whole camp and dance for 4 days straight. Fuck. Why the sudden change of heart?! I feel more like I'm going to meet a bunch of old classmates that I haven't seen in 10 years. That same dreadful and awkward feeling..