i havent been good e pass 2 days or so.. dunno wat's happening to me.. everything seems like a bloody mess.. ohh wait! there IS nothing in my life.. ohh ho ho ho..
i wish i could blame someone for my fucked up computer.. all e bloody pop ups and e lagginess.. but i noe there is no one to blame..
DAMN IT! did i search for Structured Settlement?! no.. did i search for dating?! No!! did i search for anything at all tt appears on a fucking pop up?!?!? NO!!!!
as i was saying.. i've been in terrible mood lately.. i go from :) to :( in a flash.. its not pms.. tts for sure.. so i dunno wat it is now.. i dun understand why i feel so angry all of a sudden.. i've been not-doing-much for awhile now.. and there were times when i'll get pissed,but i eventually get over it somehow and was never too bothered with it.. hmmm.. maybe its all accumulated.. and one fine day,i just couldnt take it anymore.. hmmm.. maybe tts it..
i had dinner alone today.. me and my tv.. there's ppl at home,but we're not interacting.. so it was me,food and tv.. GREAT.. my parents havent had dinner at home all week and dinner's e only time i actually eat with my parents.. i kinda miss havin dinner with them.. i hate comin home to an almost empty house where my parents r not arnd.. i wanna come home from tuition and a half hr later,i'll be greeting my parents 'Mummy! Daddy!'.. and abt 5 to 10mins later,we'll all be seated at my small dining table having dinner together.. and either my mum or my dad will ask me 'so how was tuition today?' and i would tell them tt i had a headache today and her maths is really weak so i gotta think of different ways to teach her.. and after dinner,we'll all proceed to e living room to watch tv and have some nice fruits..
my elder sis has been out with her bf.. well,i dun blame her.. my younger sis? she's home.. but she's outside e house chilling and hanging with her neighbour fren.. she even had her dinner outside with her fren! *sigh* and so im left alone to eat just like tt..
today was a beautiful day.. sunny and bright.. although a little too hot.. but it was ok.. there were patches of white fluffy clouds in e sky.. not grey.. so tt was good.. and i could see e blue in e sky.. which was good tooo.. and e last time i looked in e sky? i think its gonna rain.. but its ok.. it wont be as gloomy as if it were to be in e day.. i hope there's a huge storm.. with lightning and thunder and all.. it'll be cold and i'll be able to lightning watch..
and as if i wasnt feeling bad enough,my younger sis had to piss me off even more.. she wanted to get drinks from e supermarket downstairs.. she take $2 from her savings,come out of her room,come up to me and say 'ze! later must pay me back $1 for e drink hor!' im like wat e fuck?! 1 dollar.. ONE fucking dollar.. me and my sister pays for her stuff when we're out together.. and her she is.. asking me for one fucking dollar.. i had nothing to say.. after she bought e drink,my bottle of green tea was in a plastic bag.. i said 'celine,can u help me get rid of e bag?' she told me 'sorry got no hands!' and its not tt she had no hands.. she didnt wanna help me.. GREAT..
i think im on my way to losing weight.. not tt i want to.. i havent had much appetite lately.. considering i have breakfast alone.. lunch alone.. and dinner alone.. hmmm.. dun think i'll get any appetite.. and coz of e way im feeling now and with everything e way they r,everything is tasteless to me.. rice is tasteless.. and guess wat! i have always tot tt rice has got a leeetle bit of sweetness to it.. but its tasteless now.. vegetables r tasteless.. meats r tasteless.. i feel like i need to dump like a bottle of soy sauce to taste anything.. im drinking green tea now.. and yes.. u guessed it.. tasteless...
my usual cheery and optimistic self is gone.. completely gone.. taken over by an angry-at-everything self.. i sooooo want my cheery me back.. pls let ME come back sooon...
ohh btw,i've decided to apply for teaching post tmr.. and if i still dun get it this time round,MOE can go fuck itself..
